Congress Outraged by Decision to Outsource Legislative Branch

WASHINGTON D.C- In a surprise move today, the electorate of the United States moved to outsource the legislative functions of the government to overseas providers. Frustrated voters across the nation have decided to hire legislators from China to provide law making services for the next Congressional term.

"It was a no brainer once we started thinking about it," said local resident Tom Johnson. "We pay representatives $183,500 a year plus full benefits. Senators get $169,300. We got 535 Chinese legislators for just under a million dollars total and they contribute to their medical insurance. That's a good deal for America."

Outraged House of Representative members mingled with their Senate counterparts on the steps of the Capital building this morning. Staffers ferried Starbucks coffee to them as the legislators complained about the voter action.

"I'm pretty sure this is an illegal lockout," stated Willie Stillmyer- (R) Lakewood. "The constitution must say something about hiring foreigners to do American legislative work. I've got six staff members looking at this."

"It's a logical move," explained Congressional observer and blogger Chad Willoughby. "So much of the American economy is now based on goods manufactured in China and imported to the United States that the Chinese now have a greater stake in a healthy American economy than their own legislature. The bottom line is that they care more about their constituents than American legislators."

Outraged Democratic Senator Oliver Ogilby from California held his picket sign high as he marched in front of the Capital. "The jokers who made this decision think they can get anyone to write laws. How are you going to write them without lobbyists? Hmm? Who is actually going to put the words on the paper if the new guys don't have any contacts on K Street?"

Tom Johnson says he feels badly for the displaced politicians but has confidence they will land on their feet. "It's a new economy now. Surely these bright men and women can be re-trained for jobs in the private sector. Our serviced based economy provides plenty of opportunity for men and women who have their skill. They love to talk, shake hands and tell people what they want to hear. If I was them I would get down to Wal-Mart right away and see if there are any openings for greeters."